Hacker Exercise Analysis

      Last week, I completed the Bedford Handbook's 'clear sentence' exercises found at : http://bcs.bedfordstmartins.com/bedhandbook7enew . Now I will evaluate their usefulness, form, and what I've learned from them.
      The exercises are categorized by the subject of the question, and there are ten questions for each category. The different kinds of questions include revision, rearranging the structure, and omitting. After each question, regardless of your answer, it tells you the correct answer. One thing that I've learned from the exercises is how and where to place modifiers. Before the exercises, I didn't even know what a modifier was, but now I know WHY to place them in certain spots. Another topic that I learned quite a lot about is needed words. This topic dealt with omitting or keeping words depending on how it changes the sentence. I've learned from these exercises to examine how omitting or keeping words changes the meaning of the sentence. The final thing that I've learned from the Hacker exercises is about mixed constructions. This topic was focused on the task of rearranging sentences and omitting words to make the sentence clearer. If I had to summarize this entire experience into one thought, I would say: Make sure everything in a sentence is there for a reason, clearly worded, and concise.

Hacker Exercises

 8-1 Active vs. passive verbs : Although I knew the difference between active and passive voice, it was a good reminder.

 8-2 Active vs. be verbs: This exercise made me think of what is considered "strong" and "weak" writing, and getting to the point of a sentence.

 8-3 Active verbs  (edit and compare): This exercise made me think about who is doing the action in a sentence.

 9-1 Parallelism: This exercise didn't help me much because it was an easy concept for me that I already understood.

 9-2 Parallelism: This exercise on parallelism made me learn about one new concept, but other than that it wasn't extremely helpful. 

 9-3 Parallelism  (edit and compare): All of my revisions were like the examples, confirming my ability for parallelism.

 10-1 Needed words: My group is specializing on this topic, so I knew a lot about this topic already. 

 10-2 Needed words  (edit and compare): This exercise wasn't too hard because I recognized most of the errors right away.

 11-1 Mixed constructions: This was fairly straightforward, except for two questions. I did learn about the order and phrasing of sentences from this.

 11-2 Mixed constructions  (edit and compare): This exercised tricked me, because when it didn't need revising I would create something wrong with the sentence even though it was correct. 

 12-1 Misplaced modifiers: This was by far the most difficult topic for me. This exercise was very useful in explaining WHY and HOW modifiers are placed.

 12-2 Misplaced modifiers  (edit and compare): The explanations for the editing really helped to further understanding modifiers. I've discovered a weakness of mine in revising, and I plan to work on it. 

 12-3 Dangling modifiers: Although I struggled with placing modifiers, this exercise was much easier. I suppose that the previous practice has made modifiers easier to understand for me.

 12-4 Dangling modifiers  (edit and compare): This exercise was a good reinforcement of the concept of modifiers and where to place them.

 13-1 Shifts: person and number: This exercise wasn't very helpful because it was fairly simple and easy.

 13-2 Shifts: tense: This exercise wasn't very helpful, because it was too easy for me.

 13-3 Shifts: This exercise was a good combination of the two previous topics, but I already understand the concept of shifts.

 13-4 Shifts  (edit and compare): This exercise was moderately helpful, because the examples were slightly more challenging than previous ones. 

 14-1 Choppy sentences: I caught the mistakes right away and I rarely write choppy sentences, so this topic wasn't very helpful. 

 14-2 Choppy sentences  (edit and compare): My revisions weren't exactly like the ones they had showed, but I believe they were grammatically correct. This exercise did help me understand WHY some sentences are choppy.

 14-3 Subordination: This was possibly the easiest exercise for me. Although I got them all correct, I didn't learn much.


Source of the exercises: http://bcs.bedfordstmartins.com/bedhandbook7enew

What our class thinks about 'Good Writing'.

The ENGL191 class that meets on Tuesday nights at Saint Cloud State University, which is taught by Roland Specht-Jarvis, has come up with a subjective list of the twenty 'best' parameters for writing. Not all of these were created by me, but I did help think of two of them. I will now sort these parameters on a scale of 1-19, 1 being the most important for writing and 19 being the least important for writing.


1. Introduction: Needs to catch your attention and make you want to keep reading to find out what happens.
2. Grammar and Structure.
3. Using good resources to find legit information.
4. Creative: Should be something new that makes story more interested and different.
5. Mystery: don't make the topic be extremely obvious. allow the reader to actually think about it and try to figure things out for themselves.
6. Good choice of words but has to make sense.
7. Transition from one point to another. 
8. Conclusion that summarizes main points of the story.
9. Personalized stories with your own words and ideas are more meaningful and interesting.
10. Emotion: The ability to connect to the emotions of what is happening. 
11. When it is made for the reader to understand. Target audience.
12. Pace: How fast the story moves shouldn't be to fast or to slow.
13. Attractive clues that makes you want to read more. 
14. Imagination: Being creative makes it more interesting to read, and more engaging.
15. Clear and interesting ending.
16. Creative body could make readers not loose their interests in your story
17. Has a good hook in the beginning.
18. Be logical: a story should make sense.
19. Put facts from least to most important.

Needed Words

Grammar Topic: Needed Words

Group 3: Joseph Reece, Nicholas Schleif, Hao Xu.

Words needed are not always clear. When writing about a topic we tend get wordy and over-write or miss subtle differences that may confuse the reader. Here are a few examples:

Ex 1:

Original: Patrick O’Brian’s novels contain more accurate information about naval history than any other author.

Proper: Patrick O’Brian’s novels contain more accurate information about naval history than any other author's books.

In the original sentence the reader may confuse comparing Patrick's novels to other authors instead of other author's books.

Ex 2:

Original: The man whom we encountered at the airport turned out to be a long lost friend.

Proper: The man we encountered at the airport turned out to be a long lost friend.



The word whom is not crucial to understanding the sentence and therefore can be omitted.

Ex 3:

Original: Harriet likes golf more than Jake does.

Proper: Harriet likes golf more than Jake does.

Without the word 'does' Harriet could be saying she likes golf more than Jake likes the sport, or she could like golf more than Jake.


Summary:

If a word does not affect the meaning or interpretation of the sentence than it can usually be omitted. Sometimes an "extra" word or two may be necessary to distinguish what is being referred to or compared in the sentence.When choosing words make sure they are needed in your sentence, not just placeholders.







Reference: http://bcs.bedfordstmartins.com/bedhandbook7enew/Player/Pages/Main.aspx

Story in a Box reviews

My links to the peer review: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuG_zYyO-d1JdHJuSmZUT25xSFoxUWk0cFVRRFFRRUE                                                                 My link to my top three:                        https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuG_zYyO-d1JdElUN1laY0Q1ZVgybDNvaFFXcnVmcFE

Numbers in Writing- LEO Topic

     This post will be concerned with numbers in writing: when to spell them out, when to hyphenate them, and when to write them as numbers. 
      I chose this topic because I frequently do not follow these rules for writing numbers. I can never remember when to spell out a number and when to write it out. It is about time that I researched this topic and solidified it into my mind.
      Before I begin, I'd like to state that the information in this post came from         http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/grammar/numbers.html . The information is property of its respective owner, and I don't claim any ownership to it. All of the examples were created by me.
      
       I'd like to begin giving examples of when you should spell out numbers rather than just writing the number. 


Spell out a number:

• If a number is at the beginning of a sentence, you should always spell it out. 

               Example: Seven hundred airplanes were made before lunch. 

• If a number is one or two words, you should spell it out. 

               Example: In the book, the author describes how to kick the video game  habit in eleven easy steps.  

• When you want to indicate multiples of a number, you add "s" or "ies" to the end

         If you wanted to talk about the population of turtles in terms of one thousand,  you would say :
               There are thousands of turtles at the beach this afternoon.
         If you wanted to talk about the decade of 1960 as a whole, you would say:
               The sixties were a magical time in United States history. 
     
       Now I'd like to talk about hyphenating when spelling out numbers.


Use a hyphen :

• In between numbers that are two words and under one hundred.

         Example: There are sixty-seven words in the glossary.

• To separate the numerator from the denominator in a written fraction.

         Example: Three-fourths of the class prefers cheeseburgers over hamburgers. 


Now we've covered the cases of when to spell out numbers. Let's now examine when to just write the number.


 Write a number:

• If it requires more than two words.

         Example: Over 200,000 ( in words it would be two hundred thousand, which is more than two words) people died in the Civil War.

• When talking about addresses, dates, and exact times of day.

         Example: I expect to meet Bob at 743 Rockford Drive by 6:23 A.M. on May 2, 2012. 

• If it is an exact measurement followed by abbreviations or symbols, or exact amounts of money.

         Example: Robert received a speeding ticket for going 17 m.p.h. over the speed limit, which will cost him $259.32.

• When using decimals.

         Example: I calculated 3.8 amperes as the final answer.

• When using percentages, scores, or statistics.

         Example: Studies show that 95% of all statistics are made up. On a scale of 1-10, Jessica rated the mongoose a four. 

• When referring to volume, chapter, and page numbers.

         Example: You will find it in Volume I, Chapter 23, page 28.

• When referring to act, scene, and line numbers.

         Example: Start at Act II, Scene 3, line 67.

To Summarize:

      In scientific and mathematical works, figures are usually used.

          In magazines and books of non-scientific interest, the numbers are usually spelled out.

Source: http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/grammar/numbers.html

What makes a story "good"?

Group 3: Joseph Reece, Nicholas Schleif, Hao Xu.

What makes a story good?

Spelling, grammar, and punctuation must be accurate and correct for a story to be readable.

There should a main focus whether it is an object or a character.

A story should be organized and have a logical order of events.

Semantics should be varied and a large vocabulary should be used.

It should use dialogue sparingly and strategically.

It needs to contain sensory details, painting a picture for the mind of the reader.

There should be a climax as well as twists in the plot to keep the reader guessing.

A story should have a purpose or a theme.

The story should flow well and use transitions wisely when necessary.

It should display interest on the part of the author.

The author should be credible and have basic working knowledge of what they talk about in their story.

It should be readily accessible by the intended audience and be in their native language.

The ending should provoke thought or give new information the reader has heard before.

It should have good usage of literary devices such as: metaphors, similes, alliteration, and personification

Story in a Box

This story is about a man who gets a job selecting artifacts for a museum. When the museum becomes famous, its views and priorities about the artifacts changes.


The Change

Story-in-a-box

The Change




      The phone began to ring. Jake jumped up from his couch to answer the phone. When he heard the voice of the hiring manager he nearly screamed like a banshee.
      The hiring director then said, "All of us at the World-United Archaeology Museum would like to welcome you to the work team. You‘ve been selected as our exhibition designer over everyone else. We'd like to have you start as soon as possible, how about tomorrow?"
      "Sounds great, no problem!" said Jake in an excited manner. "Ok, I expect to see you there at 7:00 A.M. Have a nice night sir." said the manager. "You too." replied Jake, still shaking. For the last two years Jake has had to pay for a new car, apartment rent, and living expenses solely from his parents' pockets. The idea of being financially independent was exciting for Jake. However, he'll soon learn that money isn't as important as he previously had thought.
      After getting dressed in the morning, eating a satisfying breakfast, and dressing for the cold weather, Jake left early and began to walk to the museum. On his way to the museum, he saw quite an odd sight. He saw a man in his mid 30's, about 5'8" tall, lean set, with a South American nationality banging a drum while walking back and forth. He was wearing a green hat, yellow scarf, and dark jacket with pants. This kind of sight is so peculiar that Jake had to investigate. “What are you doing here?” Jake asked. The man stopped and looked at Jake.
      “I want something.” replied the man. “Well, what do you want?” asked Jake, now even more curious. “Change.” the man replied. Jake instinctively went to reach into his pocket, but the man stopped him. “No, that change is the problem.” the man stated, and went back to banging his drum. Jake was confused, but when he checked his watch he realized he was late.
      At the museum, his general manager Martin bumped into him.
      “Hello Jake.” said Martin. “Let’s get started right away: today your job is to sort through these boxes of items and pick the ones that will be in the general displays. If you have any questions, come and find me. Well, I’m very busy so I’ll be seeing you.” Martin then ran off into another direction.  So then Jake began to sort through the boxes of artifacts. Jake found some very unique ‘artifacts’ in these boxes, such as a coin book from Singapore, a handmade canoe, a statue of an African woman, a wallet from Mongolia, and a carved head. Since the curator wasn’t around and he didn’t know the background of the items, he decided to put them on display incase they had some unique historical value.
      After weeks of selecting items and organizing them, the museum opened and floods of people entered. Unknown to everyone working at the museum, including Jake, the famous historian Howard Zinn would come to the museum and publish a post about it on his blog. The post had glorified the museum and as a result exploded the museum’s popularity. One afternoon after this, Martin came to talk with Jake.
      “Jake, we need to talk about your organization. I’ve found some items that aren‘t historical: a used ruler, some chestnuts, a plain jar, a stamp, a purple cloth, and a Spanish farm model. Since our museum is under the radar now, you will need to throw these items away. Less people will come and that means less money.” Jake began, “But Sir I-”. “No but’s Sanders. Money is the main objective, and nothing else matters.” Jake began to think: how are some things historical when others aren’t? Isn’t ‘important’ and ‘historical’ in the eye of the beholder? Also, why did the museum care about money that much? Jake slowly realized what he joined. “Then I quit.” Jake said as he tore off his nametag and left. On the way home he saw the man with the drum. “You’re right, but what can I do ?“ Jake asked.
      “Nothing at all.” the man sighed.

Inventory

Small canoe: This canoe appears to be handmade of treebark. It is tied together with twigs and some kind of string or yarn. There are two feathers in the canoe and it is about 7 inches long.

Ruler: This appears to be a normal ruler used for measuring things with cm, mm, and in markings. There are blue pen marks on the side indicating its usage and it is 12 inches long.

Chestnuts: There are three chestnuts. The chestnuts are small, brown, hard, and edible. They are about 1 inch in diameter.

Coin collecter's book: This  blue booklet is from Singapore presumably with coins also from Singapore. There are silver and copper coins in it, and it is about 4 inches long

Jade stamp: This appears to be a stamp that is about 4 inches tall, with a design on the bottom. On the top of the stamp where you would hold it there are unique carvings.

Man with drum: It is a man dressed in warm clothing holding a drum and a drumstick. He is wearing clothes that don't match, possibly indicating that he's poor.

Head statue: It is a hand carved statue of a woman's head with black lips. It has ears, eyes, eyebrows, but no hair.

Small Jar: This is a small round jar with a blue midsection. It is closed at the top with a cork, possibly hinting at its old age.

Finka: This is a small model of a Spanish farm, with a tree in the yard next to a road leading to the house. The whole model is about 4 inches long.

Cloth: A very old cloth that is purple and grey with flower designs on one side, and plain black on the other side.

Black statue: This is a statue of a black woman that is bald, about 1 foot tall, and has very strange ear piercings.

Wallet: This wallet is made of some kind of leather with a button snap fastening system. It was made in Mongolia and is likely about 100 years old.

Class 1

When asked to write about the question "Who am I?", most people in the ENGL191 class try to pinpoint their physical being and makeup. They would describe their past cultures, favorite activities, and characteristics that 'define' themselves. No one had even mentioned who they are in the eyes of other people. No one had thought to think about what they aren't, which can be equally important in defining oneself. This reveals an interesting trend of first-person thinking and literal interpretation of the question.